If there is a stone in your shoe, shake it out!

The sadness in her eyes also showed in the way her lips pulled inward when she spoke of her mother. “It just isn’t fair!  Only  once  did  I  ask  my  brother  when  he  was  alive  to  take  care  of  my  Mom  for  a  few  months,  to  give  me  a break. What was his response? ‘You’re strong, Sis – you can take it man!’”

The  corners  of  her  eyes  filled  with  tears  of  feeling  trapped  and  no-one  who  will  help.  Her  sons  know  of  her  daily anguish,  yet  the  problem  singly  remains  hers.  She  grew  up  preferring  to  be  with  her  father.  ”He  was  kind to  me”, she says. “My mother was always difficult towards me. I have felt abused by her all my life. Now, in her eighties, my mother has been living with me for more than 20 years. Still, she is short and curt towards me. She wants to know my every move. If I go shopping, she will make some rude remark about how long I have been away. For the past few years, she has refused to leave the house. She won’t even get up to open the curtains. She uses her walking stick  to  flick  them  open  or  closed.  I  have  to  eventually  take  her  into  the  shower  and  give  her  a  wash.  In  spite  of having fresh fruit and vegetables in the house, she will eat quantities of bread and tea. I am at my wits end. I wish I had  some  money  to  put  her  into  an  old  age  home,  to  have  a  break!”  She  broke  off  to  wipe  the  tears  from  the corners of her eyes.

This tolerant, kind woman is being used and abused by her mother, no end. She says she will put her into an old age home, but she never will. Her sense of duty keeps her going in spite of the pain her mother causes in her life. She has long since given up asking for what she wants. She simply keeps quiet believing this is her lot in life. To escape the drudgery and monotony she focused on her grandchildren, soaking up their kindness and love. When she speaks of them her eyes become kind and soft, the tone of her voice gentle and yielding.

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