If there is a stone in your shoe, shake it out!
The sadness in her eyes also showed in the way her lips pulled inward when she spoke of her mother. “It just isn’t fair! Only once did I ask my brother when he was alive to take care of my Mom for a few months, to give me a break. What was his response? ‘You’re strong, Sis – you can take it man!’”
The corners of her eyes filled with tears of feeling trapped and no-one who will help. Her sons know of her daily anguish, yet the problem singly remains hers. She grew up preferring to be with her father. ”He was kind to me”, she says. “My mother was always difficult towards me. I have felt abused by her all my life. Now, in her eighties, my mother has been living with me for more than 20 years. Still, she is short and curt towards me. She wants to know my every move. If I go shopping, she will make some rude remark about how long I have been away. For the past few years, she has refused to leave the house. She won’t even get up to open the curtains. She uses her walking stick to flick them open or closed. I have to eventually take her into the shower and give her a wash. In spite of having fresh fruit and vegetables in the house, she will eat quantities of bread and tea. I am at my wits end. I wish I had some money to put her into an old age home, to have a break!” She broke off to wipe the tears from the corners of her eyes.
This tolerant, kind woman is being used and abused by her mother, no end. She says she will put her into an old age home, but she never will. Her sense of duty keeps her going in spite of the pain her mother causes in her life. She has long since given up asking for what she wants. She simply keeps quiet believing this is her lot in life. To escape the drudgery and monotony she focused on her grandchildren, soaking up their kindness and love. When she speaks of them her eyes become kind and soft, the tone of her voice gentle and yielding.